Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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