Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
