Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
