i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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