I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
