Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
