His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Quick, to the slutcave!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
