So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
