come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
