Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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