i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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