no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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