how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
