Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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