She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
