Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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