quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This is the prime rib incident all over again
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
