I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
