just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
