I want to walk on stilts...naked
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
