Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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