this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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