? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
