and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
