I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
