Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We got so high we made milksteak
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
