no, he came in my armpit
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
