i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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