i jhust puked up my retainher.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Randomize
