I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
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They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
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It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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