Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
