I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize