All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
