new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dick very happy bro
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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