no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
