i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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