Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
