He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize