wat bout pragnant strippers??
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
