I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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