my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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