i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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