I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
