oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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