I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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