Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
