I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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