We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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