he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
