people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
