If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
