Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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