Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
