How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
