oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
