So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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