We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
