wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
