she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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