Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
